Is polygamy or polyandry a sin?

[Śrī Hrushikesh asked: Dear Swami! I request You for Jñāna Bhikṣā. First of all. I first want to express my feelings towards Your knowledge. I do not have words to explain the bliss derived from the knowledge that You shower on us. Tears rolled down my eyes when I recently read one of the answers You have given to my question. I could not even frame the question properly. Your kindness and love have no limits. You framed the question by reading my mind. This has happened to me many times before. O Lord Datta! No sacrifice or service can ever match Your love. Your kindness has no limits. You have accepted a selfish and fallen soul like me and You continue to shower Your love on me. My question is as follows.

Is polygamy or polyandry a sin? What is wrong if a man or woman marries more than one person? Is it not advisable? I would like to quote a line from Your discourse and then continue to describe my question. You have said “The divine basis of sex is to extend the human generations so that the actors for the continuous series of dramas or film shootings are available forever. This is the basic requirement for the entertainment of God. The dhārmic way of pacifying sex is through marriage”.

In that case, a person could also get married multiple times and have dhārmic sex to produce many children from multiple partners. Isn’t such a person contributing in a better way to the entertainment of God by having many children, compared to the man having only one wife? One might say that one could have many children from one wife. However, the women of today are not as healthy as they were in the olden days to bear many children due to a weak gynecological system. So, isn’t it better to go for polygamy? In Islam, it is said that a man can marry up to four wives. Are the reasons mentioned above also the reason why Islam supports polygamy? In Hinduism too, polygamy was supported as there are many references in the Purāṇas about having multiple marriages. Hrushikesh]

Swami replied: Since we believe that God is the ultimate omniscient and omnipotent authority, we must always note that God takes care of every angle in ensuring that His creation continues with human generations. We need not interfere with His way of administration and should always try to help Him. If God were a human king, one could help the king by giving him some useful suggestions since a human king is not omniscient and omnipotent like God. The Veda says that a person should get married in order to continue the human race in the service of God. Even the desire for sex due to hormonal activity was created by God for this very noble purpose. Sexual desire was not meant to mislead human beings into engaging in sinful illegitimate sex. When sins are committed, punishments and the resulting suffering is inevitable. God is not a sadist to enjoy the suffering of souls.

Whether a married person should get married a second time to another partner in order to have children and extend the human race depends on several factors. These factors have to be analyzed for each individual case. No generalization is possible. The fundamental principle to be followed in this complicated matter is that the other life-partner should never be made unhappy because non-violence to souls is the highest justice. As long as this highest justice is undisturbed, an attempt to have children through a second marriage is justified. But there should be no cheating and no violence done in this delicate matter. If one’s life-partner is a good soul and a devotee of God, such a life-partner should never be made unhappy, under any circumstances. So many parameters crop up in different cases in this context.

If you take the case of a king, the scripture says that a king can marry the multiple daughters of neighbouring kings (Rājāno bahu vallabhāḥ) in the interest of the public of the kingdom. Such marriages strengthen the ties with neighboring kingdoms and avoid the possibility of war with them. Here the interest of many is considered to be the most important factor, which is even above the interest of any single soul. Here, the queen too understands this point and cooperates with her husband, the king, allowing him to marry other princesses, in the interest of the public of the entire kingdom. If you take the case of Draupadī marrying the five Pāṇḍavas, there was a lot of background to it, which was revealed by God Kṛṣṇa as well as sage Vyāsa. Any violation of the general rule must have sufficient justified background. Any violation of the general rule without such justified background is certainly a sin and will be punished by God in this world or in the hell. When several soldiers were killed in wars, marriages with their widows were encouraged by Prophet Mohammad. This allowance given by Him had a perfectly justified reason. Mother Satyavatī ordered her son, sage Vyāsa, to have illegitimate sex with the widowed wives of his brothers to produce heirs to rule the kingdom in the future.

God Kṛṣṇa danced with the Gopikās and it was a test for the Gopikās. He was testing whether their bond with God (Kṛṣṇa) was stronger than their strong worldly bond called dāreṣaṇā. Dāreṣaṇā is the justified love towards one’s life-partner. His test was indeed a violation of the general ethical rule, but it had a very good justified background. The Gopikās were sages for millions of births aspiring for the salvation from worldly bonds due to their strongest bond with God. God Kṛṣṇa was not an ordinary human being, but was the Human Incarnation of God. By dancing with Him, the Gopikās proved that they could overcome their bond with their life-partners due to their love for God. Similarly, Kṛṣṇa stole the butter preserved by the Gopikās for their children. It was a joint test of their bonds with their wealth (butter) and with the children, which are dhaneṣaṇā and putreṣaṇā respectively. These two, along with dāreṣaṇā, are the three strong worldly bonds. Those Gopikās who appreciated His stealing of their butter, passed the joint test of putreṣaṇā and dhaneṣaṇā. Kṛṣṇa never repeated His stealing or dancing with other women elsewhere, in His entire life. He also did not return to Bṛndāvanam to repeat these things. In the absence of any such valid background and justified reasons, the general ethical rules should never be broken by any soul. If they are broken, the soul certainly gets punished. Also, without fully understanding the valid background behind the actions of Human Incarnations of God, a soul should never try to imitate their actions.

I personally know some cases, in which the legitimate life-partner encouraged the other life-partner to remarry for having issues. After a certain age, the passions of sex get reduced and such special cases appear in which both the life-partners are not much worried about sex. Dharma or justice has several twists or angles in order to cater to different situations having some special background. But in any case, maintaining dharma means that no good soul should be cheated or hurt.