What is the essence behind the concept of kanyaa daanam?

[Shri Hrushikesh asked: What is the essence behind the concept of kanyā dānam performed during the wedding ceremony? Why is it said that seven generations of a family get uplifted, when one performs kanyā dānam, which is giving away one’s daughter in marriage?]

Swami replied: The generation of children through marriage is a sacred activity that pleases God. This is the main reason behind praising this kanyā dānam and associating it with some divine fruit. The reason for doing this particular ritual is that the bride be treated well by her in-laws. The girl is relatively weak and after the wedding, she leaves her parents to go and live with her husband and in-laws. So, her parents want to ensure that her in-laws treat her well. To ensure that, a psychological impression is created through the ritual, as if the girl becomes the daughter of her in-laws, after the marriage. So, the bride’s father formally ‘donates’ his daughter to the groom. In some cases, after the marriage, the daughter-in-law even addresses her in-laws as “Father” and “Mother”. All this is done with the intention that the daughter be treated well by her in-laws and given the maximum possible love. Actually, after the marriage, the surname and gotram (lineage) of the girl should not change, in the real sense. If they were to actually change, it would become a marriage between two individuals of the same gotra and the same surname, which is prohibited! Changing the gotra of the bride during the marriage (gotrāntarī karaṇam) is only an apparent ritual (gauṇa vidhi) and not a real ritual (mukhya vidhi). The background of even this is only to protect the weaker sex and ensure that she gets the maximum possible love from the family of her in-laws.

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| Shri Datta Swami | What is the essence behind the concept of kanyaa daanam? | Kanya Daanam Gotraantarii karanam