Posted on: 11 Mar 2017
Dr. Nikhil asked: Padanamaskarams Swamiji,
[With great hesitation I would like to seek Your advice on this personal matter. It has been going on in my mind for years and I have not been able to resolve it. You are my only Parent, Friend, Guide and Goal. So, I am taking the liberty to ask this to You...
After millions of births, in this lifetime, You have given me this opportunity to recognize You and serve You. However, I am engrossed in my worldly activities and am unable to apply myself to Your service. You have previously clarified that serving the family, which is also devoted to You, is indirect service to You. You have also clarified that being attached to worldly bonds of money and family is essential to test the strength of the bond with God. I truly believe it and I am trying my best to follow it. But I feel that time is slipping out of my hands. The thirst of countless lifetimes to be at Your feet, is overwhelming. You have clarified this point also that nearness to God does not necessarily indicate dearness and in fact, nearness usually leads to negligence. This is my greatest fear and the main cause of my hesitation in discussing this issue, since I am well-aware of my weaknesses and my susceptibility to the ‘repulsion of the common medium’ and ‘repulsion of what is nearby’.
I know that dearness to God comes from selflessness, which in turn comes from analyzing and understanding divine knowledge in depth and breadth. I am trying to put my best efforts in that direction. But I frequently, I go into depression, losing interest in my worldly duties and life. As a result, I am neither able to pursue my spiritual effort nor complete my duties at work satisfactorily. The situation is worsened by the wave of competitiveness and uncompromising work pressure that has recently come into the field of education.
My present problems related to work, family and health are to be expected based on my current astrological period and transits. I know that they are the inevitable results of my own sins. You have already reduced them to the bare minimum and delivered them to me in the most convenient form. The wonder is that the difficulties are providing an invaluable contribution in my spiritual progress. I have no complaint in this matter and in fact, I am deeply grateful. It is nothing but Your loving grace. In short, my job, family, health and spiritual effort are still going on only due to Your grace, in spite of all my weaknesses and failings. Without Your grace, all would have been lost long ago.
I try my best to engage my mind in my job, by trying to take interest in things for which I have a general liking. But periodically, I realize the utter aimlessness of this work. I also see my utter inability to do any work at all and I go into depression. Life seems to have come to a standstill and I feel like a vegetable. A wild thought of leaving my job also comes to my mind. Of course, that is completely impractical since the job is necessary for my sustenance. In spite of our considerable efforts, our savings are very limited. With my daughter’s educational expenses and other responsibilities, it appears that I have to continue to work.
Also, the bigger question is “What will I do if I leave my job?” I wish to serve You in Your mission. But I know that I am utterly incapable of doing that too. If I am unable to hold on to my job, what use can I be in Your mission? Moreover, I know that You or Your mission does not need me; I am ever in need of You. The sun never needs fireflies. Your mission proceeds with Your unimaginable power. You have provided me with a job, even though I do not deserve, and I cannot behave irresponsibly and insult You.
A potential solution is coming to my mind. If I take up a job at Hyderabad, we could perhaps meet about once a week. I feel that meeting You from time to time might stabilize my mind, allowing me to do my worldly work as well as spiritual service in a better manner. My engagement in my job for the rest of the week might serve as a break or a change, which is essential even in devotion. Hyderabad has many suitable universities, where I could probably find a job. I had thought of this solution earlier as well. But then I had certain career aspirations, inclinations and disinclinations, which were complicating the situation and preventing me from reaching a resolution. Hopefully, I have slightly better clarity now.
Of course, I do not have any confidence about my ability to fulfill the new job responsibilities. I do not even have the confidence to apply for jobs, not to mention moving to a different city, finding accommodation for us and finding a school for Arsha. In fact, I do not have the confidence to even go to work at my present job each day. But it is becoming clearer and clearer to me that whether it be my present job or any future job, or it be any situation in life, You and You alone are my Support. You and You alone are the Support for my family, my life and entire creation.
But even this solution has put me in a dilemma. If I do not explore potential job opportunities in Hyderabad, I would have wasted this chance of being close to You, which comes once in a million lifetimes. On the other hand, as a result of coming close to You, if I develop negligence towards You, it would be a tragic and terrible loss.
I know that there could be many other solutions for this situation, including simply staying wherever I am and continuing to do whatever I am doing. I feel guilty to even bring this matter to You. I feel that all changes in my life should be initiated by You; not by me. I do not want to pressurize You in any way. I do not want to impose my will upon You in any way. I want to always try to follow Your will. Even though I am incapable, I know that You have always provided the strength and direction in all my lifetimes and that You will do the same forever.
I request You to kindly help me understand the situation and finally command me on what I should do as per Your will.
I remain at Your Divine Feet, Your servant, Nikhil]
Swami Replied:
My Dear Dr. Nikhil, The Veda says that God and world are opposite to each other like North and South poles (duramete...). Both God and world are the two election candidates competing with each other standing for your vote. World promises you to give happiness if you vote for it like the present politician promising several schemes of welfare provided you vote for him/her. God is totally opposite to this candidate. God-candidate is not even seen by eyes once and is not captured by your imagination at least for one time. Even if God comes to be seen by your eyes, the repulsion between common media is spontaneously set up throwing you away far from Him! He does not promise any welfare scheme to you. He promises only various schemes of difficulties so that you get repelled from the world. This is also done by God on your prayer only, the meaning of which is not known to you. You pray for salvation. Salvation means liberation. Liberation from what? From Me? Or from worldly bonds? Anyone will immediately answer that the liberation is only from worldly bonds and not from Me! After giving such confirmative answer also, every soul starts weeping and scolding Me even if I put My knife (knowledge) even to cut one worldly bond! Many even scold Me as a cruel fellow cutting the worldly bonds (Dattam Chinnam). You go to a hotel and order for a cup of coffee. The server brings the cup of coffee as ordered by you. Immediately, you are scolding him for bringing coffee telling the reason that you never like coffee! If you don’t like it, why did you order for it? You have ordered for coffee many times before the server brings the coffee! Similarly, every day, you pray Me for salvation and when I try to give it to you, you express your dislike for it! The life of any devotee aspiring for salvation is full of difficulties created by God so that at least you develop theoretical repulsion to worldly bonds. You do not want even theoretical repulsion! Just think, how far you are from the practical liberation of worldly bonds called as practical salvation!
The basic problem for this type of psychology is that one desires for detachment from the worldly bonds and then merge with God. It is correct that you want to resign from the old institution so that you can join the new institution. But, before such stage, you must have theoretical attraction to the new institution overcoming the attraction to the old institution. Since your attraction to the new institution is far higher than your attraction to the old institution, you will proceed to resign from the old institution. In fact, your attraction to the new institution must be so deep that your mind is totally filled with your attraction to new institution, which develops total detachment from the old institution in your mind. Unless this stage is reached in theoretical domain, practical efforts will not start. Here, God is the new institution and worldly bonds are the old institution. Success in the practical efforts can be achieved only by attaining the above mentioned state in theoretical phase. Theory is the source of practice in any aspect, be it worldly or spiritual. If the detachment from the worldly bonds is aspired without the developed attachment to God, such detachment fails.
The existence of God is the fundamental foundation of the attachment to God. If the existence of God is accepted, at least fear to hell can be developed, which controls sins that extend your attachment to worldly bonds. In this way, existence of God helps the soul in controlling the expansion of worldly attachment. If you take only the food recommended by doctor, the illness is not strengthened further. But, this is not the cure of disease to give you perfect health. Attachment to God does not mean the control of expansion of worldly attachment. Hence, Nivrutti does not mean pravrutti. Cure of disease does not mean resisting the growth of disease. Apart from restrictions of food (pravrutti), you must take the medicine of Nivrutti that destroys the disease. Nivrutti means progress in the attachment to God.
Therefore, mere detachment from worldly bonds or salvation is meaningless and useless also. Even a stone is totally detached from the world and has 100% salvation. What is the use of it? If detachment from world itself is the attachment to God, the dearest devotee to God must be the stone! One must try always for the attachment to God without even thinking about the detachment from worldly bonds. Detachment from world must be a natural consequence of the attachment to God. When you are totally attached to God, the worldly bonds shall drop by themselves even without your knowledge like a medicinal strip falling as soon as the wound got cured. Hence, every spiritual effort is only a trial to improve your attachment to God. Salvation is only an indirect measure of your love to God. From the height of the scale remaining above the water, the depth of the water is indirectly measured.
The attachment to God or devotion or love to God increases by knowing the spiritual knowledge, which is a cinema projecting the personality of God appearing as incarnation. Certainly, the nearness to God creates repulsion, which is a common observation even in the case of worldly bonds. This is inevitable, especially when the medium of God is exhibiting the same natural principles as exhibited by your medium. Even though this is the rule of majority, exceptional rule of minority also exists. The devotees of innermost circle of God like Adi Shesha, Garuda, Nandi, Narada, etc., are exceptional to this rule. Hence, till the climax of Nivrutti devotion is reached, the nearness is not good for an ordinary devotee. The Veda says that if you are near to something, you will hate it and if you are far from the same thing, your love to it increases more and more (paroksha priyaah…pratyaksha dvishah). However, if you are in the climax of devotion, this rule does not apply since the climax will neither go up nor will come down.
I assure you the protection from God wherever you stay. God is omnipotent, meaning that His power of protection is constant at any place and at any time. If one says that he will protect you in Hyderabad but not in Coimbatore, such power is not divine since it is limited to a place. Some years back when Shri Ajay asked Me whether he shall leave the present job or remain in the same place, which is tilted by problems, I replied, “God will protect you whether you stay in this job or go to the other job because God is omnipotent to protect anybody at any place and at any time. If the power of God is limited to a specific case, a specific place and a specific time, such power is limited and cannot be omnipotent”. Ajay believed My words and stayed in the same job. All the problems of that job disappeared and the institution became number one and he is very well off in the same job. For the sake of Ajay, God protected the whole institution. The huge Govardhana Mountain was lifted by God to save a few villagers from cyclone!
This worldly illusion (Maya) will be running before you, like your shadow, so that you always fail to capture it. If you turn to opposite side (since God and world are opposite as said above), the same shadow will run after you like your pet dog. If you get depression or fear or tension in your life at any time, that indicates your lack of faith in God Dattatreya. If you are a devotee of Datta, you shall be always brave, happy and fully contented. Many say that they are devotees of God on one side and on the other side, fear and get depressed! Both these are mutually contradicting like light and darkness. The Veda says that a person limiting himself/herself by selfishness (means that he alone exists without God by his side) alone fears due to lack of faith in the existence and dearness to God (atha tasya bhayam bhavati). A person having full faith in God always feels that he/she is the king/queen of this world (apnoti swaarajyam… Veda). In the Gita also, God promised that His devotee will never fall (Na Me bhaktah pranashyati). A real devotee shall sacrifice doership to God and retain only the enjoyership of the fruit of bliss always. If a devotee of God gets depression in life, which may have any reason, such depression is to be treated as an insult to the omnipotent power of God. A real devotee, who proved his/her devotion practically, shall neither fear in this world nor in the upper world. God promised His protection to such devotee in this world (kshema) and in the upper world (yoga) also (yoga kshemam vahaamyaham… Gita). A real devotee always welcomes difficulties, which drive the devotee towards God and does not like the benefits that take the devotee away from God. Kunti asked God to give her always difficulties only so that she will be always alert and be immersed in deep devotion towards God. Be always happy, brave and contented, which are the divine properties (Daivi sampat vimokshaaya… Gita). God says in the Gita that Arjuna shall never be worried since he is born with divine wealth (Maa shuchah sampadam Daivim…). If a true devotee is also worried, what about the case of the non-devoted ordinary human beings? If the King also says that he is poor, what to speak about a real poor beggar? I once again promise that you are always under My protection at any time, in any place and in any situation. You can enjoy your choice of freedom since you are always within the boundary of the protection of God Datta.
If you treat Me as human incarnation of God Datta (Monism or Advaita), My assurance to you is guaranteed since My voice is His voice only. Even if you treat Me as a sincere devotee of God Datta (devotee becoming master of God or Shaakteya), My assurance has guarantee since Datta always honours the assurance of His sincere devotee. In both ways, you have the full guarantee of protection from God Datta.
Yours Swami