Posted on: 16 Feb 2024
[Ms. Thrylokya asked: What is the necessity of promising on God in the marriage if the husband and wife have true love to each other? The promise appears as a force to bind both together. True love does not need force. Please comment on this.]
Swami replied:- God has two sides. One is justice and other is love. Justice is related to the court of law and love is related to the park. The court requires strong witness and therefore, in the field of justice, a very strong witness like God is most welcome. Justice and love do not contradict each other, but compliment each other. To err is human and hence, in the case of relationships between human beings, a strong witness like God is essential in both financial matters (Artha) and sexual matters (Kaama). Following Dharma (Justice) in both Artha and Kaama, makes the soul eligible for Moksha (Salvation). These four (Dharma, Artha, Kaama and Moksha) are important subject matters (Purushaarthaas) for any soul. The first three belong to Pravrutti and the last one belongs to Nivrutti. The promise on God protects the soul whenever the soul slips from the path of justice. Of course, some souls slip from the promise on God also, since the control of senses is not possible even in the case of great souls. For example, Sage Gautama and Ahalya were married promising on God during the marriage. But when the king of Angels called Indra came to Ahalya in disguise, Ahalya identified Indra and still invited him for sex (Deva rājaṃ tu vijñāya…- Valmiki Raamaayanam). Sage Goutama cursed Ahalya because she broke the promise made on God in the marriage.
When Radha and Gopikas broke this promise on God for the sake of Krishna, Krishna was that God on whom they promised in their marriages! Krishna is not a human being. If Krishna was a human being, such an affair would become Dushpravrutti, which is below Pravrutti. Since Krishna is God, such an affair with God becomes Nivrutti, which is above Pravrutti.
Of course, we fully agree that true love shall be the real basis for not erring anytime in life. But, since error is common for any human being, this promise on God is prescribed by the scriptures so that at least some control on the senses is possible to avoid the error. In fact, such a sin, which is going with a human being other than husband is also mentioned for which the punishment is that the erring husband or wife shall embrace the red-hot copper statue of that person with whom justice is violated. To uphold justice in any case, Krishna took the punishment of the sin of Radha and Gopikas onto Him and underwent the punishment. God did not use His special power to cancel the punishment of the sin! In this way, God always protected the justice (Dharma saṃsthāpanārthāya…-Gita) and also gave the highest honour for true love! In this way, God protected both justice and love simultaneously. Some live the life of a couple without marriage, which is called live-in relationship. Even that is acceptable, which is very similar to Gaandharva Vivaaha of Hindu tradition, provided both promise on God and lead the life of a true couple throughout their life.
One day, the wife was following the dead body of her husband in a procession to jump into the fire along with her husband in the cremation ground, which is called as ‘Sati’. The wife of poet Jayadeva saw that procession and told the queen that the wife shall leave her life as soon as the husband dies if their love is true. Later on, the queen created a false news that Jayadeva died in the forest. As soon as Jayadeva’s wife heard the news, she left her life. Such examples are very very rare and cannot be generalized. Of course, Sati is also a bad tradition in which the wife is forced to die along with the husband. This Sati is also called as ‘Sahagamanam’, which means that the wife or husband follows the spouse as soon as the spouse dies. The word ‘Sahagamanam’ exactly means to follow the spouse on the spot and not forcible killing.